This time I make no big words before, only that much: sometimes you need to fall hard, before other people show up.
“Humanity- what is that? Is it something positive? A cynic would say, it is a weakness. I think the answer lies somewhere in between. My boyfriend is addicted to gambling. When he told me that one year ago I did not know at all what that means. And when he backslid in June, when he lost his wage of a whole month and we had to steal food for a few weeks, then I still did not realise, that it would be a problem. It was more like an adventure. Then there came a hard time. His payment of the Federal Law on support in Education (BAföG) was delayed. That was in September. In the following months, something was different. We were nearly like strangers. But the money was not delayed, he just lost it, additionally got into debts and all the food money, that I had somehow scraped up was also gone. That I discovered when I found him in November, starved and with shoe laces around his neck. And in all of this chaos there is supposed to be humanity? Yes, lot’s of it! Because we are still together and we are doing great, better than ever before. Because we have the best friends in the world. Friends, that gave us food and money, that helped me building up our destroyed world, humans who I could not imagine our life without. Whatever happens, my boyfriend and I, we have each other and after all this suffering we can share everything with each other. And we have the smartest, most understanding and funniest friends, with whom we can do sports and theatre and nonsense. Completely unburdened and crazy. What I want to say with this? Humanity are extreme downs, but humanity is also trust and teamwork and warmth. And when you look close enough, you can find your own humanity.”